“For years to come we could always sit here and laugh and smile, maybe cry even.”
One day a man asked me why I was sitting here , I said I was just thinking about something. He said , whatever it was it must be something special. I was stunned at that moment. He then asked me of I’d want to tell him. I said “Yes I will , in fact I’d love to.”
I told him about someone a small boy who was dependent on me. He was not dependent in the conventional sense. Rather he was dependent for small things like sharing his mornings with me , unnecessarily waiting for me , talking to me hearing me out , laughing with me. The man seemed puzzled he said , but that makes you dependent on him right? I continued. He would sweat daily to spend a few hours with me. He would just do anything , but his anything just revolved around me. But I hated him somedays, I wished he didn’t exist , I wished he just wasn’t there so that I could be free. Free of being with him this way. The man felt annoyed now. Yes I felt that ways cause I wanted to have what I’ll have forever and not let go of him. I didn’t want him to leave me. I was just to scared , all these are just excuses. The fact was that I was insecure selfish jealous. I didn’t want him to grow. I just wanted to have him at any cost. I made life difficult for him. He still loved me. Ever since we got married , we would come and sit here. I’d always admire him for listening to my sweet nothings just like today. I never have had anything more beautiful than him , never wanted anything else to stay.
A tear rolled down my eye when I said this. The man immediately held me , embraced me and cried with me all he said was , I just wanted to see you smile always, I love you baby.